Toxic People and Behaviors
I was reading an email yesterday that recommended making a list of all the people in my life and putting a + or – next to each of them to see if there is a pattern for the toxic people in my life. I put a bit of thought into this but didn’t get far. My mind took a leap and I started thinking that the non supportive/negative people in my life were most likely a result of negative thinking and behavior on my part.
Seemed to me instead of focusing on the symptom (people I’ve allowed into my life that I feel are not supportive) that I’d be better off focusing on the cause (my own negative thoughts and behaviors). I can’t change the behavior of the people in my life but I can change myself.
I also believe there are no longer people in my life that I feel are unsupportive. I’ve found that as I focus more on the positive and once I got clear in how I wanted to be treated, the people that didn’t share those choices moved on. As I shed my negative thoughts the people that came with those unhealthy patterns also disappeared.
Not To Do List
Many books about getting organized and getting things done talk about the importance of making a not-to-do-list. Here’s mine. If I catch myself doing or thinking these things I change my thoughts and behavior to something more nurturing and positive.
- Negative thinking
- Getting hooked into other people’s negative thinking
- Complaining
- Criticizing
- Whining
- Gossiping and Colluding
- Checking email 4000 times a day
- Reading blogs more than 1 hour a day
- Surfing the internet when I could be doing something else (which is pretty much anytime)
- Checking Blog and Website stats more than once every 2 weeks
To Do List
I’ve also thought a lot about my priorities and where I want to put my time and energy. Here is my short version of my to-do list:
- Being self accepting
- Being authentic
- Being honest
- Being kind
- Being generous
- Being gentle
- Complimenting others
- Feeling gratitude
- Living in the present
- Going for walks
- Working in my studio with no expectations
- Hanging out with my kids
- Spending time with my friends and family
- Gardening and cooking
- Living healthy
- Living life effortlessly
Not Finishing
A final no-to-do – leaving my artwork unfinished.
I thought I had Structures #95 and Structures #96 (above) finished but last night as I was packaging them up to mail them off to my solo show at Lux, Fencing In or Keeping Out, I discovered I didn’t have the hanging mechanism (a fabric tube) or labels sewn on to them. Oops!
I’ll chalk this one up to my new Getting Things Done approach to life started after I dropped the ball on finishing this artwork.
Do you keep a Not-To-To list?