An Assortment of Thoughts – In no Particular Order
I woke up this morning (Monday morning – a beautiful new week) ready to get back on track. I showered, I meditated, I did some yoga, I had a beautiful healthy breakfast and then I went for a long walk.
And then I took a few seconds to check the news. I wasn’t going to linger. I had a plan: do not get caught up in the drama of it.
I am a life coach. I understand uncertainty. I am trained to help people recenter and get back to doing what matters.
But how could a quick peak at the news be a problem? Just 1 quick peak.
I read that Air New Zealand was cancelling 85% of all international flights through end of June. Including my flight to the USA.
I read that Australia followed New Zealand’s lead with the mandatory 14-day self-isolation requirements for all visitors. Essentially cancelling my trip to Australia in April.
I think “this is good” – you know what you are doing now. You are staying home.
It meant I could teach another session of Working in a Series. I’ve had many requests to run it again this year.
So I updated my teaching website.
It wasn’t easy.
Not the technology. Not the planning. It was the doing. Total distraction in my brain. Checking news.
And finally – I’m done. The new dates are on the site. I do a quick announcement on facebook. A few minutes later the first enrollment.
Things feel more settled. A little less uncertainty in my life. I have deadlines. I have commitments. I love teaching this course.
And even better – I think the timing will be perfect to help others feeling a bit untethered in all this uncertainty. Taking a class is a great distraction. Plus the timing is perfect as it is unlikely to conflict with travel plans. Certainly not mine!
Problem is – that was 4 hours ago. 4 hours I could have spent in the studio finishing my latest artwork.
Check this out…
I’m loving this new work and it is almost done.
And so now I feel guilty for not working. And then the “but you are a life coach” thoughts pop up.
I’ve seen all the calm and reassuring posts the other coachy folks are doing. Why have I not gotten my act together?
Are they really calm? Why am I not calm?
Okay – stop – no being mean to me. It’s okay. I am okay exactly like I am.
And now I’m second guessing if my declaration that March was going to be a TV free month was a good idea. Can I really not zone out for another 2 weeks? Does the mindless distraction of televsion hurt to help? Hm. Wonder if google knows.
So this is my brain.
I try meditating again. That didn’t help. And it would be a stretch to call that “meditating.”
Although reading the exact same news story over and over and reading the panic and jokes on facebook isn’t much help either.
So I decide to write this. To get it out of my system. To share that I don’t quite have it together to calmly walk to my studio and ignore the news.
My brain – it’s just not quite there. I thought yesterday was the last day I needed to fritter my time away.
Turns out I needed today also. And that is a okay – I’m not a machine. I am a human and anxiety is just an emotion. This too will pass.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is always another day.
And so is right now. I’m hitting send and going to the studio. See you on the other side of creating.
PS – be kind to yourself.